MAGIC GUEST POST BY BRI: A Lil' Nanny Perspective

Hi, I'm Bri. This is my guest post.

When I'm not walking in the door to the sound of roaring and stomps that sound like an elephant rampage (by that you probably think I'm talking about the 3 young boys but in fact I'm actually talking about Dave, chasing the kids around the house with loud roaring sounds and his hands up in the air like a gorilla.) - I actually get to have front row tickets the Aitel show. Which I have to admit, is my favorite show.

There's a handful of moments when I have come out of my bedroom on the verge of laughter tears because of things I overhear Dave saying, and then laughing at himself about. For example, a 9 year old who is strongly upset over not being able to play a video game finds it completely necessary to tell his father how it feels about it at the top of his lungs from the shower. Dave has a very simple solution: "get a job and move out." - that's what made me giggle a bit until Max then responded: "I want my own computer so I can play video games anytime I want!" - I then spit out my drink when I heard Dave say "I'm going to make you go outside and build a computer out of sand." Dave: 1 Max: 0

If it's not forcing the children to watch (in my opinion, very awesome) nature shows, he's dropping facts about the human body, insects, teaching Chinese swear words, wrestling them to the floor and telling them to get over the pain, he is explaining that it's too late/you didn't earn video game time but then at the last minute saying "hehe ok guys I'm gonna play the game now! Bye!"

DAVE WINS EVERY TIME
#blessed to have won the tickets to the Aitel household

MIC DROP
xoxo B

The fucking basics: Sitting down to do homework.

One thing I've heard a lot of single mothers say over and over is "Why won't my son sit down and do his homework like I used to."

Only one has his hands in his pants. A RARE MOMENT.

That is the first step of failure right there. First of all, no boy has ever sat down willingly in his whole life. I can't even get mine to sit on the couch to watch TV. Even to this day, when dating, women want to sit for hours and talk in a bar or restaurant, but frankly, I'm going to suggest a change of venue after an hour just so I can get up and walk somewhere else.

Guys (and your boys) hate sitting. They're not going to sit for dinner. They're not going to sit to do homework. They're just not going to sit ever. Get a table high enough for them to stand at when they do their homework and don't fight a battle that you can't win before you've even gotten them to put pencil to paper.

When boys get frustrated, they are going to jump up and down in the air, twist around, and otherwise be all over the place. You can't stop it and you lose ground every time you try to. Your goal is just to get them BACK to the table, not try to keep them there the whole time.

Look.

"This is so fun! YOU CAN SENSE OUR EXCITEMENT FOR LEARNING!"

Ok, this the first post, and so to give you some idea what this blog is about, let me put it this way. Most teachers have had parents come in CRYING about trying to get their sons to do homework. And because of how the world works and it's unfair, I know I know!, if you get divorced and you have a son you are probably the one taking care of taking them to school and educating them at home.

As a single father, I feel your pain. But I have an advantage! I have the male brain. As you've noticed, from watching your friends with their daughters calmly learning in class and doing their homework without being told, the male student is a gremlin of pain when it comes to education.

But let's fix this. I will tell you all the male secrets that I use when teaching things to my three boys. The goal is not to make them geniuses or valedictorians. The goal is to keep you sane. This is going to be harder than it sounds.

I call this classroom study "Daddy trapped a cockroach and put it outside so you can torture it to death."